ABOUT HER & WHO SHE'S LOOKING FOR
I'd love to sell you on how great of a person I am by listing my many great achievements, but unfortunately I only have 3714 characters remaining in this text box, and I'm pretty sure my awesomeness can't be fully explored in such a short space. (Not only that, but if you ever meet my father, I'm sure he'll bore you to death by broadcasting my accomplishments while sending creepy "I don't have a gun, but I don't need one for what I'll do to you if you touch my daughter" vibes.)
Instead, I'm going to go about things a little differently and list every single reason why you should think twice about sending an electronic wink anywhere in my vicinity. That way, I'm relieved of any responsibility should you end up stranded on the side of the road in the middle of Arizona in your boxers with nothing but a moldy grapefruit and a water bottle full of some sort of cloudy, yellowish liquid as a result of contacting me via Match.com. Consider yourself warned...
Firstly, I am extremely impulsive. At first glance, this may seem like a positive, but I assure you that when we've booked our flight and lined up the hotel reservations for our trip to Cancun, you're gonna be a little miffed when I decide at the last minute we'd be better off staying at a dingy hostel somewhere in Europe. Secondly, I'm very ambitious and persuasive. I'm sure you're saying, "Oh, great! A girl who knows what she wants!" Don't kid yourself. This trait is nothing but good, old-fashioned manipulation.
Firstly, I am extremely impulsive. At first glance, this may seem like a positive, but I assure you that when we've booked our flight and lined up the hotel reservations for our trip to Cancun, you're gonna be a little miffed when I decide at the last minute we'd be better off staying at a dingy hostel somewhere in Europe. Secondly, I'm very ambitious and persuasive. I'm sure you're saying, "Oh, great! A girl who knows what she wants!" Don't kid yourself. This trait is nothing but good, old-fashioned manipulation.
So, if it's 2 a.m. and I've somehow convinced you that we should go for a run in the middle of a thunderstorm, don't blame me. You're just the victim of a girl who "knows what she wants." Thirdly, I'm extremely complicated. I will most likely at some point tell you one thing but mean something entirely different. Any experienced man knows that this is a very common tactic used with women, and I bask in the fact that I have perfected it. For example, "No, I'm not mad," with eyes averted means, "You're on thin ice," whereas, "No, I'm not mad," with a subtle smile and fleeting eye contact means, "You've hurt my feelings, but I'm too stinking proud to admit it." Of course, "No, I'm not mad," with a vigorous head shake and a short giggle means I'm legitimately not mad.
It has taken me years to perfect these techniques, and it takes just as long for my counterpart to decipher meanings from them, so please don't beat yourself up if you haven't mastered these by the third date. However, after an adequate training period, if you are still having trouble discerning my intended meaning behind my subtly nuanced answers, you may find yourself in a situation similar to that outlined in paragraph one. Fourthly, I'm extremely honest.
I know, that's exactly what you want in a girl, right? Well, when we're three dates in and I'm just not feeling a connection, I most assuredly will not sugar-coat my lack of interest. Perhaps a better word to describe this character flaw would be tactlessness; I am sometimes hopelessly tactless. If I think your outfit looks like it belongs on a poodle in a three-ringed circus, I won't hesitate to say so. If I think your mother is the long lost sister of Satan, I will be sure to make my opinion known. On the flip side, if I think you're the greatest thing since aluminum water bottles, I'll be sure to tell you that, too.
Lastly, I absolutely hate drama. Yet again, this seems like a positive quality on the surface, but upon further inspection.....oh wait...nope, this is all positive. Pretty sure there's no way to spin that in a negative light.
If you're still reading, I assume that means you're still considering messaging me (which means you're either a glutton for punishment or just plain crazy). If that's the case....DO IT ALREADY!!! I'd love to hear from you! Of all the words you might use to describe hanging out with me (i.e., challenging, complicated, frightening, etc.) I assure you that boring isn't one of them!
If you're still reading, I assume that means you're still considering messaging me (which means you're either a glutton for punishment or just plain crazy). If that's the case....DO IT ALREADY!!! I'd love to hear from you! Of all the words you might use to describe hanging out with me (i.e., challenging, complicated, frightening, etc.) I assure you that boring isn't one of them!
Help
- Interests:
- Book club, Camping, Coffee and conversation, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Gardening/Landscaping, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing cards, Playing sports, Religion/Spiritual, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Volunteering, Watching sports, Wine tasting
- Sports and exercise:
- Aerobics, Baseball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Running, Soccer, Swimming, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking, Yoga, Other types of exercise, Volleyball
- Exercise habits:
- Exercise 3-4 times per week
- Pets:
- I have Dogs, Fish
- Political views:
- Liberal
- Sign:
- Taurus
- Illinois College, Jacksonville, IL
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Help
| ABOUT... | HER | HER DATE |
|---|---|---|
| APPEARANCE: | ||
| Height: | 5'5" (165cms) | 5'3" (160cms) to 8'11" (272cms) |
| Body type: | Slender | Athletic and toned |
| Eyes: | Blue | Brown, Hazel |
| Hair: | Dark brown | Black, Dark brown |
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Select to see how you each match what the other is seeking in these categories.
